It's like my body's pushing itself out. It smells like a slaughter house. Then I let the sound out. No one's around, still I embarrass myself. How am I embarrassing myself? I let the sound out. Back of my head, there's space to reflect: why does it feel wrong and right? Why is it not enough to let the sound out? Just let it out.
Category: poem
Damaged vision.
I see everything through these glasses that are smudged and distorted, cracked by the fire from the early years. For the rest of my life, I have to repair them. No kindness, no charity, they're dangerous. So are love, passion, sex, not even religious. Afraid of failure, more of success. Blind to things I can't dissect, as I observe & stay back, too much a coward to live firsthand. When I do see things clearly, get scared of what they mean. Waiting for someone to tell me it's not all wasted, I can be whole again once my vision's 20/20.
Reader’s digress.
I go to the public library like it's highway robbery. Banned books? Yes, please. Add them to my to-read list. I like them 2nd hand. Fight for the on-hold line. I'm sure the trees don't mind. This book of mine. How long do I have left? Should I renew it or bide for more time? Damn, that book's hot. Got 5 people reader-blocked. Why does that feel nice? Well, guess I'll pay the late fine.
Ear of the tiger.
What if we take away the fear? When people die we pat them on their backs, send them to the ever-after? Living is not a safe bet. At least make it exciting. It's not a debt to collect.
Night office.
Everything's a mystery at night. What does the shadow hide? Where's the road begin and the dream end? Do the stars see me as I see them? Some warm lights remind me of a home I had. It's as safe as the night. One that I can visit as often as I like.
Answer.
If life's that simple, an answer of "yes" or "no". The path lies in the middle, somewhere nobody knows. The first asks the question. The second finds an answer. The third never bothered. Which one is wise?
I need your love.
I lower the price on love, so I can afford the rent. Dangling the key in front of your face, so you're scared that I might leave. Any second, now. Any second now. But it's such an old tale even I was not aware. Why I can't leave, why I can't breath, why I seek you out, why I fool myself. I need your love. When the sun goes down, or even it's sunny out, or high time at the sabbath. I need your blood. It better sing my name, it better stain my lips, it proves I exist. Something to run from, maybe a little braver now. The eruption of the volcano. The ending of a 5-G world. I need your love now. I need your love.
Here, now.
1. I look at you like, "What do we have here?" You look like you know me. But how? I don't remember. I must've been stuck since forever, since nowhere. That's how I feel. Now where do we go, now that I'm here? 2. They say just keep going, put one foot in front of the next. What about those we left behind? What have I left behind? Another glittery town, another image forgotten. Except we don't forget. We don't ever forget. Now I'm here. It's quiet. 3. I've never lived in the real world. Never for a second, not a lifetime. You got me wrong, but your spirit is strong, so I buckled under your demands but resisted at my own peril. It's the reason I do things half way, I can't finish if I'm afraid of a heart that's long lost. But it's here now, what do you know?
How?
I was sitting by the door like old man stupid except I was on period. Out came the question, "How can I be happy if I'm afraid of it?" Then I took a nap since I felt sick. When I woke up, there's ringing in my ears.
No title.
Gigdy, gigdy, time is running out. Do you want to pick a number or just letting it spin you around? I don't know when you came in but finally you're front of the line. What? Didn't have time to think? Oh, well, guy, you're doing it right. Haha, so many a soul came all glammed up thinking it's a ball not just a gamble. I see you're missing shoes & tie & a smoke, but luck is on your side. (whisper) So am I. (wink) Now what's gonna be? A speech! Oooh, let's see, there're two of you still standing, the rest are asleep. But get on right ahead, I'm paid on the hour. (yawn) (wakes up) Wha?! ... you still here? Alright, enough is enough. NEXT! And no buts.
hotsurf_ 