Little.

May I have a little peace
till I reach a familiar place?
Fool me up with an oasis
filled with all its promises.

May I have a little tale
just so I have some warmth?
Maybe at the next bonfire
we all shall have a toast.

May I have a little laugh,
charted map and celestial guide?
When all the stars do align,
a peak behind the cold divine.

My demon children.

My children are demons.
They are quiet like death.
I think of them often.
Their moment of birth apparent.
Maybe it's time for them to go to college.
Will they come back & find me boring?
Will they find a job because they're emotionless?
Will they go viral for being stylish?
The bitter-sweet moment when I say goodbye,
will I lose everything & die?
My dear demon children, I can't lie,
you were there for me & I was a mess.

Understand.

I'm hard to live with
by myself.
Constant torment
inside these walls.
One side is hot like hell,
the other side chill like death.
There's a person in the middle
whom I can't tell.
It's a split long ago.
Something to endure,
not knowing what.
The ship will sink,
nobody can hear the screams.
The horror of a brain
turned outside in.
Can't bear others' help.
They're making it worse.
Not understanding
the enemy is me.

To Christmas.

There's a void in me
that's where God is.
Should I head that way
where the world's going?

There's a hurt in me
that's where mom stays.
Should I tell her, yes,
I don't give a shit.

There's a truth in me
that's where dream lives.
Maybe the broken pieces
are the promises to keep.

Lament.

I'm not gonna make it, yo.
I'm not gonna make it.
Time is leaving me behind
and I really really hate it.

It's all my fault.
I'm weak & faithless.
Not brave nor wise.
The beast had me for toothpicks.

I'm tired & there's no path.
More than ever I need to jump.
It's live free or die,
there's no other life.

I'm sorry. I've been blind.

(I'm scared. I'm scared.
Am I insane or just stupid?
I'm in the wrong body with wrong mind
like an alien entity.)