If life's that simple, an answer of "yes" or "no". The path lies in the middle, somewhere nobody knows. The first asks the question. The second finds an answer. The third never bothered. Which one is wise?
I lower the price on love, so I can afford the rent. Dangling the key in front of your face, so you're scared that I might leave. Any second, now. Any second now. But it's such an old tale even I was not aware. Why I can't leave, why I can't breath, why I seek you out, why I fool myself. I need your love. When the sun goes down, or even it's sunny out, or high time at the sabbath. I need your blood. It better sing my name, it better stain my lips, it proves I exist. Something to run from, maybe a little braver now. The eruption of the volcano. The ending of a 5-G world. I need your love now. I need your love.
1. I look at you like, "What do we have here?" You look like you know me. But how? I don't remember. I must've been stuck since forever, since nowhere. That's how I feel. Now where do we go, now that I'm here? 2. They say just keep going, put one foot in front of the next. What about those we left behind? What have I left behind? Another glittery town, another image forgotten. Except we don't forget. We don't ever forget. Now I'm here. It's quiet. 3. I've never lived in the real world. Never for a second, not a lifetime. You got me wrong, but your spirit is strong, so I buckled under your demands but resisted at my own peril. It's the reason I do things half way, I can't finish if I'm afraid of a heart that's long lost. But it's here now, what do you know?
I was sitting by the door like old man stupid except I was on period. Out came the question, "How can I be happy if I'm afraid of it?" Then I took a nap since I felt sick. When I woke up, there's ringing in my ears.
Gigdy, gigdy, time is running out. Do you want to pick a number or just letting it spin you around? I don't know when you came in but finally you're front of the line. What? Didn't have time to think? Oh, well, guy, you're doing it right. Haha, so many a soul came all glammed up thinking it's a ball not just a gamble. I see you're missing shoes & tie & a smoke, but luck is on your side. (whisper) So am I. (wink) Now what's gonna be? A speech! Oooh, let's see, there're two of you still standing, the rest are asleep. But get on right ahead, I'm paid on the hour. (yawn) (wakes up) Wha?! ... you still here? Alright, enough is enough. NEXT! And no buts.
I live life as someone who just want to get it done. No pleasure but seeking pain. What are the other options? I should've done everything thrice. Only it's all in my head. Maybe see it from your eyes next? Will I be prettier, more apt? There, I've found the thing I've been searching for. I am & I'm not & that's all. It's good to be drunk.
The only kind I deserve. The only softness I accept. I killed a chick once by ignorance & neglect. I cried till daybreak holding its limp body thinking it's the end of the world. I'm a chicken mom now with minimal responsibility. Just the kind I like while they still remember me. But I know they would peck me to death if they sense I'm a threat. That's what I like about my chicken friends.
I don't want to know your name. I don't want you to come inside. I don't want to see you twice unless there's business to be done. I don't want to meet your friends, or know your ideals, your dreams you better keep with your change. I don't care when it becomes personal. Because I hate crying. It's true. I remember doing it every night with every little story. Now I know it's all a trick. So I skip the parts that I know that will see me hurt. So, believe me when I say, I hate crying for you. It's not fair, man. I have to cry to forget. (RIP, Golden Girl.)
I pull up the panty of shame, splash water of "Here we go again." No bra, no robe the weather is nice for another day of personal makeup. There's the silver ring of love. Don't forget the earring of hate. Oh, an Evil Eye for protection. Don't mind the navel ring of invitation. What should I add to the collection? Maybe an X that marked the spot of some dude that died for naught who wore a rad personal makeup? Need more thing to remind I exist in a world that's totally different than what you might have suspected. Welcome to my personal makeup.