Those on the Watch Tower, what do you see? Will there be merry weather or dark clouds gathering. Do you see the fire from the vengeful past? Will you sound the alarm? Or gather up & flee? Oh, those on the Watch Tower, what fate brought you there? Have you someone you're minding? Or are you alone always? When the sky turns black, do you kneel down & pray? Have the stars shown you the way? Do you enjoy watching the slaves? The Watch Tower, thick & tall, built on unknown graves. Those on the Watch Tower, do you shiver? So close to the Heavens, hearing destiny's whispers?
Order & safety. That's what my library gives me. They record my name for a fee and they have what I need. Order & safety. All the librarians have PhDs, so they know what "Shhhh" means, and they serve you with humanity. I wish I can live there among the books & DVDs. Just archive me alphabetically, I know I will be in good company. Order and safety. My books are past due. It's OK I will visit soon whenever I need a hit. Order & safety. Order & safety! ORDER & SAFETY!!
I'm a time thief yo, you wouldn't know me. Before you see me coming, I will be going. Life's no free lunch, that's what my mama taught me. So while I have these thighs, I'm gonna use it. It's just so fast, a moment is gone. I ready my hook, eyes on the buoy. I'm gonna steal it under everyone's eyes. There's nothing to it, just bait it with your life. I'm a time thief wanting a slice. And the next, & next. Desire to desire. In my hunter's eye, through thick & thin. The thrill of the chase. The chill of the night. Don't give me nothing that's already mine. I'm a time thief yo and you're my catch.
I don't see your devilish grin nor your true intention. One day you will say what I want to hear, and that's "I love you, my dear." Till then I'm gonna plot & spy, weaving my spider's net. You say you're getting tired? Well, just lay down on my awaiting bed, with champagne & spice. What a romantic am I?
You know I'm from the dark side no matter how hard I try. Time & time it shows, round & round you know. There's no blaming, it's worth noting. Everything's in me to no one's surprise. Lucky to be alive, after all that delay. It's just hard to decide, what am i. Doesn't matter just be. The voices become quiet. Can't be too far from death. Yet there's a light. I get back in line, starting to hear the rhythm, smelling that sweet bread. Darkness I expand, like an old friend. Don't be afraid what might've been placed like an antique box, safely waiting, for an aged hand to gently retrieve. What's still. Darkness awaits.
We miss things, you & I while we pulsating. Breath for breath, amp for amp. On the same frequency. Which is why we need others to catch it. The ones we don't get, whom will shine a light so that we share the pulsating heartbeat.
My parents love each other. It makes things worse. Growing up watching them, co-dependent, non-functioning. I was knocked outta myself. Thinking I could see things clearer, without emotions. "I'm afraid of losing my mind like my grandma did." So I left my seat observing calmly without knowing who I am. Always needing someone in case I disappear, in case I get lost in the formidable maze that's my vacant mind.
Happiness is a sham. Biologically it helps no one. Where's the urgency? Who's the casualty? I want to ask, "What's the price of happiness?" Sure you can laugh then you die. I'd stay quiet and step aside. Not a coward but a wise. Who says happiness smells of wine? It's a sham! Shame! Sham! Oh, oh, you can tell I'm having a good time? Why, it's not a party but feel free to join. We are selling happiness. What a sham!
I ain't the victim though I moan about my mother. I could had a brother or sis when my father asked me if I wanted a younger brother. I was about eight & selfish. Told them it's gonna be another girl, just like me. Pitched them on the penalties of Chinese one child policy though from my desperate plea you can sense it's a case of jealousy. Like a baby shark, I acted on my instincts. In a child's mind, there lied the logic: all resources are limited: food, attention, most of all, money. Boys are gold, I'm jaded. I had the upper hand. Now I'm limited. Human, Inc. Limited. If I had a brother, I'd cry on his shoulder. If I had a sister, I'd learn to fix her hair. I'm limited. I wanted to live.
First it hurts a lot, then you grow numb. It kinda has its advantage, so you can look around beyond the floods & the rainbows.