I see everything through these glasses
that are smudged and distorted,
cracked by the fire from the early years.
For the rest of my life, I have to repair them.
No kindness, no charity, they're dangerous.
So are love, passion, sex, not even religious.
Afraid of failure, more of success.
Blind to things I can't dissect,
as I observe & stay back,
too much a coward to live firsthand.
When I do see things clearly,
get scared of what they mean.
Waiting for someone to tell me
it's not all wasted,
I can be whole again
once my vision's 20/20.

I go to the public library
like it's highway robbery.
Banned books? Yes, please.
Add them to my to-read list.
I like them 2nd hand.
Fight for the on-hold line.
I'm sure the trees don't mind.
This book of mine.
How long do I have left?
Should I renew it
or bide for more time?
Damn, that book's hot.
Got 5 people reader-blocked.
Why does that feel nice?
Well, guess I'll pay the late fine.

Everything's a mystery at night.
What does the shadow hide?
Where's the road begin
and the dream end? 
Do the stars see me
as I see them?
Some warm lights
remind me of a home I had.
It's as safe as the night.
One that I can visit
as often as I like.

If life's that simple,
an answer of "yes" or "no".
The path lies in the middle,
somewhere nobody knows.
The first asks the question.
The second finds an answer.
The third never bothered.
Which one is wise?

1.
I look at you like,
"What do we have here?"
You look like you know me.
But how?
I don't remember.
I must've been stuck
since forever, since nowhere.
That's how I feel.
Now where do we go,
now that I'm here?

2.
They say just keep going,
put one foot in front of the next.
What about those we left behind?
What have I left behind?
Another glittery town,
another image forgotten.
Except we don't forget.
We don't ever forget.
Now I'm here. It's quiet.

3.
I've never lived in the real world.
Never for a second,
not a lifetime.
You got me wrong,
but your spirit is strong,
so I buckled under your demands
but resisted at my own peril.
It's the reason I do things half way,
I can't finish if I'm afraid
of a heart that's long lost.
But it's here now,
what do you know?

Gigdy, gigdy, time is running out.
Do you want to pick a number
or just letting it spin you around?
I don't know when you came in
but finally you're front of the line.
What? Didn't have time to think?
Oh, well, guy, you're doing it right.
Haha, so many a soul came all glammed up
thinking it's a ball not just a gamble.
I see you're missing shoes & tie & a smoke,
but luck is on your side. (whisper) So am I. (wink)
Now what's gonna be? A speech!
Oooh, let's see, there're two of you
still standing, the rest are asleep.
But get on right ahead,
I'm paid on the hour. (yawn)
(wakes up) Wha?! ... you still here?
Alright, enough is enough. NEXT!
And no buts.

I live life as someone
who just want to get it done.
No pleasure but seeking pain.
What are the other options?
I should've done everything thrice.
Only it's all in my head.
Maybe see it from your eyes next?
Will I be prettier, more apt?
There, I've found the thing
I've been searching for.
I am & I'm not & that's all.
It's good to be drunk.

The only kind I deserve.
The only softness I accept.
I killed a chick once
by ignorance & neglect.
I cried till daybreak
holding its limp body
thinking it's the end of the world.
I'm a chicken mom now
with minimal responsibility.
Just the kind I like
while they still remember me.
But I know they would peck me to death
if they sense I'm a threat.
That's what I like
about my chicken friends.