Sometimes all I can do is cry
I don’t know why
the water rises.
Strange lines, the trees say it’s a trap
but so is life.

Can’t seem to understand
or make a difference.
All the forces are indifferent,
who wins who loses. All too apparent.
All a lie.

Hope you can hear me sometimes.
Remember what we used to have.
When I was unconcerned &
everything’s the best.
When we were hand in hand.

Wonder if I was the one escaped
from something familiar & soft
into the bigger wilder world
which you really didn’t prepare me for
but made it worse.

Should I hate you & never look back?
Leave all the sentiment with the 1st pay-check?
When they cheer & welcome you to the pack.
Drown in materials, expensive tastes, short memories & high-rise?
You taught me better than that.

Are you with me then? What’s this all about?
All those years, 50 50, whether lived or died.
The drive that drives me insane & nowhere.
I don’t see any progress. Are you proud?
Or just don’t care.

长言古时香
江湖酒洋洋。
方亭文中去
青墨遗路上。

I don’t miss people.
I don’t find kids cute.
I don’t remember the last time I felt whole.
I only cry when it’s not personal.

I feel much.
I feel nothing.
I’m always tired.
All I do is dreaming.

I don’t want to be here.
Can’t stand missing a thing.
Been plotting to avoid fate.
Tell that to the offspring.

I can make you see.
I’d rather be in your skin.
I want to see it burn.
I do pray for peace.

The more I find,
the more they go missing.
What’s on my back?
Feels like an angry ghost.

The more it stirs
the murkier.
Be still, things shift.
Never ready, just go.

Girl, you need to find a man soon.
Don’t waste time discovering yourself
you’re but a pretty wrapper around a womb.

You know men are looking & you should be glad.
Don’t play coy when they come to ask the price.
Your value’s set with the length of your legs.

It’s your job to always look the best
so that you can maybe stand a chance.
What goes in movies goes in real life,
you either a nobody or a star with tags.

Before long you’ll be a mother with child
within whose eyes you will be forever lost.
Coo-coo bedtimes & milk from the breasts,
don’t ever ask for personal time or else.

Good lord, woman! Stick with the man you got!
To whom the society entitled more than enough!
Put on a good face or you’ll be condemned.
Just remember your place & be content.

You probably can’t tell
I’m a ghost in a shell.
I think it’s quite alright,
I like Japanese anime.

Here goes the endless sunset
chased by the smokes of light,
sweet as the jam I had this morning,
guess I won’t be skipping the wine.

Someone calls help, the dog’s riled,
a bit excitement & words are yelled.
What does it all have to do with me?
Over here managing my own insanity.

Don’t need your help.

I know it’s your little bell,
as ever it rings so loud.
While I couldn’t give a shit,
I’m introverting just now.

Can’t just talk with little mouth,
Qs & Is, pollens, every last detail.
Why don’t you just give me a break,
stop making noise for God’s sake.

(Not you, obviously*)

“Hey, bitch face.”
“What?! Who?! Me?”
“Yeah! Why don’t you look more friendly?”
“Wha! What’d I do? Minding my own business,
looking down at my own shoes.
Not my fault my face
is what in front of you.”

Runner-up of contemplator of life I am
& it’s not boding too well for you.
If you see me lips tight, eyes humorless,
forgive me for my offensive attitude.

We can chat about your cat or dog
& of course your kids too.
Though I really have nothing new to add,
you see, I’m kinda aloof.

All the interactions I can imitate live
without being too honest or true.
If it can help spreading your rumors,
isn’t that what people do?

Wow, didn’t see it coming,
was that really what I said?!
Can we start over please?
I’m calling a reboot.

Ah, here we are, some fresh air.
What do you mean forget it?
You’re walking away with a bad taste,
having a case of bitch face too?

I do see your color pretty, a translucent blend,
jelly-toned nail polish of a creeping, resting kind.
In out focus, permission to engage, calvary sneaky & bold.
The feeling of discovering something I should not have told.

The sound wave comes through a medium, an intentional distortion.
Not certain if the ears were made for such personal vibrations.
Amused smile, more heard but saw “it’s all part of the plan”.
Something though shouts “Danger! Back off!” not that I can help.

Boundaries melt when we come together, we are finally expanding.
The way that you see, that I see, sand in sands on sands indefinitely.
You move forward, I take flight, locked in a circular exhilarating fright.
One glance, no more than two, never & ever & as ever, yours yours & mine.

We dance the vertical inclines and horizontal foolish maze.
Here & there some clear water, sad when it turns into murky wine.
Hallelujah, trouble-maker, zig-zag, skipping saints & swines.
Here for the show, you may know, digging dirts searching for a what.

You let me know then & now I tell you to hold on but not too tight.
Sometimes you have to be content with the little things that are very slight.
Staring too long, the light will shift, you may know too well what you see.
It’s time to let it all go while there’s still something else for me.

We’re on a hot plate
but who cares as long as
there are fake news, SNL
someone else making fools of themselves.

It’s easy to point & blame
when I’m not even in the game.
How did we end up like this?
Well because we wanted it.

The newspaper’s spreading thin
catering to everyone’s prejudice.
As long as there’s a cent in a click
your value is in a database.

Human, women, worsen, partisan.
Can’t decide if I like being a victim.
Fuck it we all look the same:
no money, no tie, no service, no voice.

Why can’t you see?
You’re bring out the worst in me.
Wait till we all tired & want to go home
only then to find out we are all alone.