The evening’s one of those,
too good to be true.
One star’s burning bright
like it was once told.
Traffic air, crystal light,
somewhere a clink
of an unseen cup or knife.
Intoxicated by the moment,
forgetting the day’s toil,
all too grateful to be alive,
for nothing but this quiet.

I don’t know if I’ve told you
but I love you so.
And you can’t deny me anymore
but I can’t say I’m yours.
Some candle light,
once or twice on summer nights,
the floating feels & minds
never touching the ground
when you are showing me around.

Have I been patient?
Was I too troublesome?
Gave me one chance,
then 2, then 3,
keeping me guessing what it is about.
Then maybe I’ve always known.
The journey is the reward.

I wish you well.

What do I have to do to get your attention?
I’m talking, why don’t you listen?
You can’t afford me to be your assistant.
So don’t interrupt me.

You don’t come from a higher shelf than mine,
so stop pretending you know the value of my time.
I’m talking straight-up business, alright?
So don’t interrupt me.

You don’t get to turn the page in this book,
I’m the one with the ruler & the robe.
Being in control while your life’s a merch.
So don’t interrupt me.

I don’t tell you to drop dead
even after you turn into a talking-head.
Oh, am I beneath your intelligent level?
Is communication all but impossible?

I ain’t your ass-kisser, your affirmation signage,
so shut up and be quiet for a change.
And hear what a grown woman has to say.
No? Nothing to teach you? You’ve seen it all?
Well, fuck off, you don’t get to interrupt me
just because, I’m a woman and talking sense
that is somehow not on your wavelength.
Voluntary deafness, dumbness,
something to conflict about?
Don’t interrupt me when I talk.

I wait for you to finish though.
I try to understand your point.
If you’re not gonna take your top-hat off,
feel free to be miserable all by yourself.

Big men & women who’ve seen it all,
but never learned to respect nor keep eyes open.
Don’t interrupt me because you don’t want to know
the human-being that’s across the room.

I don’t want to live like you.
I don’t want to be around you.
You could be holding the golden ball,
I’d still tell you where you belong.

It’s no use, I make it a big deal.
Don’t interrupt me, or get outta my face.

——-

You have to go the whole way
there’s no stop nor sit & wait.
You won’t see anyone for miles,
only you and your demon lords.

You think it’s going to be an easy win.
There are books and movies with happy ends.
And you brought them for all they were worth,
falling asleep among the heroes & merchandises.

There’s no heaven nor hell to escape
unless you somehow make it to the script,
then you can write & sing HIS praise,
have your face among the saints.

But you know it ain’t true,
life’s a rose,
little bugs & thorns
if you bother to get close.

Or you can say it’s a bitch
like mama who gives you flesh,
never pointing out the obvious,
she doesn’t like it here either.

You have to go the whole way
don’t discount your pains.
They are already afraid
of you, reaching the stars and sky.

———-

I don’t care any more if I’m smart or the opposite.
All the judgements & comparisons are making me sick.
Worse, it made me a terrible human being.
There’s no way to get around it,
if you don’t let your light shine
however it wants, whenever it wants
what’s the point of living?
Just so I can reproduce and
watch the kids making the same mistakes?

Nah, the solution can only start with me.
When you are hurrying me, I will let you know,
there’s no late nor early, I’m right on schedule.
It’s transcendental, woodoo-speak & all natural.
So quit judging everyone cause you have nowhere to go,
holding onto some vague sentiment & all enforcer-mode.
There’s nothing to see here but smokes & mirrors.
If that’s your thing, well, pay for the new channels.
Concentration of wealth because we’ve been told,
“if you buy this, own that, you’d be whole.”

Oceans of plastics and continents of land-fills.
Rapes the earth till his last breath cause we entitled.
Oh, wait, I should have used “her” instead,
will that make you more comfortable?
Righteousness’ virtue as old as tombs and caves.
Women are commodities & children raised by commercials.
As long as the money flows, it’s cancer for gold.
Join in the kill, there’s no second fills.
Be the worst you can, who cares if it’s going downhill.

But there’s a catch, maybe you suspect,
whenever you do something rotten your soul pays the price.
So maybe grow some sense and patience and mind,
everyone gets to a point, to face what’s inside.

—–

I looked into the future
and filled with dread.
Tittering on divorce
cause we just don’t fit.
Maybe it’s God’s plan
or the devils, who cares?
That’s the problem,
everything’s too real
until they turn out fake.
It’s not natural,
it’s subatomic,
multiple universes
collide in the consciousness.
If we turn mystical
there’s no limit.
If it’s all scientific
how do we really know?

——

I’d rather be unknown,
as a free creature who roams.
Each identity finds its home,
only then I can be happy.

There’s much to be done
but it’s time for a rest.
Listen to your body’s demand
and do the thing it likes.
So the inspirations can come at night
and tomorrow you’ll have the energy to act.
You’ll be feeling refreshed,
hopefully rid of those bags.
It used to feel good,
going to bed at night,
reliving the day’s adventures,
I really need to get that feeling back.
Don’t let fear rule the mind,
but give it permission to fly.
It doesn’t matter wherever it may land.
At least we’re bright & clear
with a good night’s bless.
Always more dreams to come
after the morrow’s done.
Paying for its dues
and working for another chance
to feed the mind,
to do some good.
Always easier said than done.
Not running away
but know when to save the strength
for there is a brand new field
that will be growing inside first
which needs time and patience.
Let the intuition be the guide,
stretch like a cat
and go to bed,
but remember,
to bid the day
a “good night”.

I just want to say,
you are so far away,
and it’s so quiet here
like a movie with no sound.

I like it this way.
Oh, I like it this way,
where I’m a nobody
and everything seems OK.

Just all OK.

I walk alone,
on the street near home.
Ahead I see a red jacket,
like the one
my mother wears,
the person in it
is taking stuff outta her white van.
Who else can it be?
“So she’s giving us food again.”
I think while shaking my head.
She’s going back to the car.
I start running.
Suddenly feeling happy watching my feet,
one goes after the other.
When I raise my head
expecting to see her
she’s not there.
The van’s just ahead,
now in rest.
My drive-way’s empty.
It’s the neighbor,
another asian lady.
I hung my head
and feel like crying.

I have to turn off my sense of guilt
just so that I can live my life.
Lay your hand on my stomach
like I’m just one of your properties.
No, there’s no child inside
just my flat, hard, give-no-fuck abs.
Mad respect for your old ladies
but get the fuck off of my case.
Don’t wanna have to deal with you
cause your world view is fixed.
Yes, your son’s the golden-boy with some linage.
Bitches, I’m first born of a provincial officer
and got some leftover from the Mongolian race.
You don’t see me trying to pass those on
and it’s for your own damned good.
Keep thinking the real noble men & women
are long gone & left no trace.
Is it irresponsible to be critical of the world
before bring a child into a questionable fate?
You just want us to reproduce,
have you been brainwashed?
Do you like doing all the work
and not being seen and treated as a person?
Now you making it your job
making others miserable.
Maybe stop gossiping
and see if there’re real issues you can solve.
You must think we are having it easy,
thanks to not having to live
with an oppressive tradition.
Our marriage was not even arranged
so what do we have to complain?
Have a child, keep the jobs
and bath in the golden mist of
the old ancestors smiling.
I know you have a brain,
why don’t you switch it on more often.
Maybe it’s too late for you,
but I’m not gonna waste this opportunity,
of not being a slave, but fill a role that I build.
Don’t wanna become a passive-aggressive old lady like you.

I used to like this
leaning against the door
listening to the motor sea
thinking not thinking
of a world with out of me.

It’s like hearing a prayer
out in every directions,
looking for answers.
So alive, so vibrant,
mixed with the symphonies.

The roars of the whirlpool
deafening yet unaware.
The fallen leaves are still.
The rain comes and goes.
Can’t I just be one of those?