I just want to say,
you are so far away,
and it’s so quiet here
like a movie with no sound.

I like it this way.
Oh, I like it this way,
where I’m a nobody
and everything seems OK.

Just all OK.

I walk alone,
on the street near home.
Ahead I see a red jacket,
like the one
my mother wears,
the person in it
is taking stuff outta her white van.
Who else can it be?
“So she’s giving us food again.”
I think while shaking my head.
She’s going back to the car.
I start running.
Suddenly feeling happy watching my feet,
one goes after the other.
When I raise my head
expecting to see her
she’s not there.
The van’s just ahead,
now in rest.
My drive-way’s empty.
It’s the neighbor,
another asian lady.
I hung my head
and feel like crying.

I have to turn off my sense of guilt
just so that I can live my life.
Lay your hand on my stomach
like I’m just one of your properties.
No, there’s no child inside
just my flat, hard, give-no-fuck abs.
Mad respect for your old ladies
but get the fuck off of my case.
Don’t wanna have to deal with you
cause your world view is fixed.
Yes, your son’s the golden-boy with some linage.
Bitches, I’m first born of a provincial officer
and got some leftover from the Mongolian race.
You don’t see me trying to pass those on
and it’s for your own damned good.
Keep thinking the real noble men & women
are long gone & left no trace.
Is it irresponsible to be critical of the world
before bring a child into a questionable fate?
You just want us to reproduce,
have you been brainwashed?
Do you like doing all the work
and not being seen and treated as a person?
Now you making it your job
making others miserable.
Maybe stop gossiping
and see if there’re real issues you can solve.
You must think we are having it easy,
thanks to not having to live
with an oppressive tradition.
Our marriage was not even arranged
so what do we have to complain?
Have a child, keep the jobs
and bath in the golden mist of
the old ancestors smiling.
I know you have a brain,
why don’t you switch it on more often.
Maybe it’s too late for you,
but I’m not gonna waste this opportunity,
of not being a slave, but fill a role that I build.
Don’t wanna become a passive-aggressive old lady like you.

I used to like this
leaning against the door
listening to the motor sea
thinking not thinking
of a world with out of me.

It’s like hearing a prayer
out in every directions,
looking for answers.
So alive, so vibrant,
mixed with the symphonies.

The roars of the whirlpool
deafening yet unaware.
The fallen leaves are still.
The rain comes and goes.
Can’t I just be one of those?

What sustains me
is a shout in the dark
I’m afraid of that dark
like I’m disappearing
filling the space with
What?
what are we but vacuum cubes
The muffling sounds from a distance.
But Which direction?
If I cry enough
will they listen
the waxing and waning
still stir something
That something is pain.
This yearning,
Its always been too painful
to live.
No one finishes their story – (why?)
A messy beginning
an exhausting middle
a neuron endingWHAT’S THE QUESTION?

The tides
driven by an invisible force,
incessantly caress.
It could be any shore.

When I touch the wood,
it’s your skin I feel.
When I reach for the sky,
it’s your dream I hope.
As the time flies us by,
there’s something that remains.
I hold it in my head,
a garden that I made.