There's human bonds forged in hell
that you can't find anywhere else.
It's filled with hurt & shame
coagulated with blood & urine.
It's a festering spot in the soul
you don't know what happens if poked.
That's the spot where you're vulnerable.
No answers, no prayers & no cure.
If you sit with it as a knowing friend,
you may forge a bond sourced in heaven.

To be human is to be
lost forever,
and learn to make homes
in the unknown.

If I'd know what I know now,
I wouldn't have stopped myself.
I'd stab the heart & carve it out.
If I'd know what I know now.

Timidly I knock on the door,
peek through the window of the carnival
where the give & take is pure & simple,
and finding the taste sour & bitter.

You know what I just found out?
Life's over the moment you hold out.
Whether you die tomorrow or a century tops.
In the end it's, if you can forgive yourself.

I bow to myself in front of me
and surprised by the mortal bile-
a hatred as such I've never felt.
No wonder I'm never happy.

My consciousness repelled by my existence
blocks people & wonders of living.
Fought hard to get to where I am.
Still time to get to the other side?

I should sing with my own voice,
not so loud & not so quiet.
There's no question in my song.
I'm just singing what I want.
May the sunshine make it bright.
May the night give it might.
Sing the song, the spirit take flight,
maybe someday you hear my voice.

Freedom is not checking others faces
before uttering the next words.
Freedom is not holding myself in
before letting my presence known.
Freedom is poking where it hurts
and knowing that remedy is at hand.
Freedom is beyond happiness
where messy life is accompanied
by an internal soundtrack that I enjoy.