Have you taken a pill
that's hard to swallow.
It's bitter & hard,
and takes time to dissolve?
No sugar can chase it down.
No water can speed its way.
Then it lodges in your gut
and there, it is to stay.
Maybe I didn't choose
what comes my way;
didn't have a clue
until it gives away.
It's not in a hurry.
It knows more than I.
Time-released wisdom,
must you be such a drag?


I'm so infantile.
I don't know right from wrong,
can't tell need from want,
but it's great for a song,
cost you more for a dance.
"Oh, ain't that cute?"
While I make a big poo-poo.

Boys will always be boys.
Girls are women from age 5.
Maybe I'm in denial,
guess I still give a fork
to think there's more to learn
beyond the ground of kindergarten.
Where's my mommy and daddy!


I used to let outside colors mingle with mine
results in something I can't quite describe.
It's a blending of the world inside
that from outside may seem mad.
I could walk in air,
live on a patch of dirt
and be content.
The peace shattered,
it wasn't meant to last.
As if I need to prove that
I'm worthy of that kinda love.
And if I know it, remember it,
and want it enough.
What's easy has become so hard.
The real test is coming back to the start.

To My Aborted Sis.

I ain't the victim
though I moan about my mother.
I could had a brother or sis
when my father asked me if
I wanted a younger brother.
I was about eight & selfish.
Told them it's gonna be another
girl, just like me.
Pitched them on the penalties of
Chinese one child policy though
from my desperate plea
you can sense it's a case of jealousy.
Like a baby shark, I acted on my instincts.
In a child's mind, there lied the logic:
all resources are limited:
food, attention, most of all, money.
Boys are gold, I'm jaded.
I had the upper hand.
Now I'm limited.
Human, Inc. Limited.
If I had a brother,
I'd cry on his shoulder.
If I had a sister,
I'd learn to fix her hair.
I'm limited.
I wanted to live.


I’ve learned it’s very stupid to feel
and very very stupid to love.
When you are not strong
and easily led astray
and you don’t recognize the path.
Monsters, tricksters, cowards abound.
Before you know it
the wrong things are learned,
you don’t know who you are.

But I need to feel, we all need to love.
Let’s all be stupid now.
1, 2, 3, breath. 1, 2, 3, breath.
I call on stupid stupid love.