I don't see your devilish grin nor your true intention. One day you will say what I want to hear, and that's "I love you, my dear." Till then I'm gonna plot & spy, weaving my spider's net. You say you're getting tired? Well, just lay down on my awaiting bed, with champagne & spice. What a romantic am I?
Category: random feels
Came from darkness.
You know I'm from the dark side no matter how hard I try. Time & time it shows, round & round you know. There's no blaming, it's worth noting. Everything's in me to no one's surprise. Lucky to be alive, after all that delay. It's just hard to decide, what am i. Doesn't matter just be. The voices become quiet. Can't be too far from death. Yet there's a light. I get back in line, starting to hear the rhythm, smelling that sweet bread. Darkness I expand, like an old friend. Don't be afraid what might've been placed like an antique box, safely waiting, for an aged hand to gently retrieve. What's still. Darkness awaits.
Pulsate with me.
We miss things, you & I while we pulsating. Breath for breath, amp for amp. On the same frequency. Which is why we need others to catch it. The ones we don't get, whom will shine a light so that we share the pulsating heartbeat.
Confession of a vacant mind.
My parents love each other. It makes things worse. Growing up watching them, co-dependent, non-functioning. I was knocked outta myself. Thinking I could see things clearer, without emotions. "I'm afraid of losing my mind like my grandma did." So I left my seat observing calmly without knowing who I am. Always needing someone in case I disappear, in case I get lost in the formidable maze that's my vacant mind.
Happiness is a sucker’s game.
Happiness is a sham. Biologically it helps no one. Where's the urgency? Who's the casualty? I want to ask, "What's the price of happiness?" Sure you can laugh then you die. I'd stay quiet and step aside. Not a coward but a wise. Who says happiness smells of wine? It's a sham! Shame! Sham! Oh, oh, you can tell I'm having a good time? Why, it's not a party but feel free to join. We are selling happiness. What a sham!
Beyond.
First it hurts a lot, then you grow numb. It kinda has its advantage, so you can look around beyond the floods & the rainbows.
Loss.
I gave my heart once, and it's not something I can do again. I was left behind. All of a sudden, in a drawn-out fashion, I lost my heart, my eyes, my hands, my skin. I feel them sometimes like a fantom pain. That's why love is not something I can give out again.
Confines.
In the confines of a camera lens, will you be kind or expose me for what I am? In the confines. Things are so predictable, even the story is foretold. Everyone's so special. In the confines, in the confines. Whoever I'm gonna meet? Whomever I'm gonna be? Oh, the places I get to see. In the confines. It's 6am & we call it wrap, looking for the next gig just the same. You know we gonna meet again. In the confines. In the confines. In the...
Animal Channel.
Instead of watching actors
I watch chimps & birds.
Instead of arousing some
humanity that I don't have,
I take notes
on animal channel.
"It's not a natural life."
someone says &
they are lying.
At least the animals
don't sell fashion lines
on the animal channel.
Oops, someone got eaten.
Lordie, some babies died.
No matter how you gasp,
you're laughing inside.
It's the circle of life.
("That is so.")
On the animal channel.
Delimitation.
I look for delimitation to freeze the moment for close examination of the quantum fluctuations. It gives me weird vibrations, as if it'd known me before, so I ask it for more, and it gives me the finger. Patience is not something I can afford. Pushed along these narrow streets, in & out of consciousness as the moon sways, and the sun bakes, and the dance keeps go round & round. I've been silly before, I will strive even more. There's no reason, only time. There's no rhyme, save mine.
hotsurf_ 