My parents love each other. It makes things worse. Growing up watching them, co-dependent, non-functioning. I was knocked outta myself. Thinking I could see things clearer, without emotions. "I'm afraid of losing my mind like my grandma did." So I left my seat observing calmly without knowing who I am. Always needing someone in case I disappear, in case I get lost in the formidable maze that's my vacant mind.