Category: poem

Brain warmer.

I need to be with myself because I am slow.
I don't know when the synapses say go.
Give me a moment to make sure they're talking to me
and it's not a case of mistaken identity.
I need to be alone. I need no excuse.
The brain says I'm under-archiving, I say it's overanalyzing.
It'd be funny if it's not indefinitely depressing.
I'm a lazy brain warmer telling the brain to chill.

Game.

There're certain games I'm afraid to play.
I always win & I think I know why.
It's a cosmic burden, the unexpected kind.
It's the game I call U ❤ I.

Biding for.

Freedom is not checking others faces
before uttering the next words.
Freedom is not holding myself in
before letting my presence known.
Freedom is poking where it hurts
and knowing that remedy is at hand.
Freedom is beyond happiness
where messy life is accompanied
by an internal soundtrack that I enjoy.

Unfolding.

Neatly packaged & put away for keeps,
life on a shelf with expiration date.
Yellowing, hollowing, echoes from far away.
Moldy, haunted, only roaches for company.

Bumped outta the place,
it's no mistake.
Give these creaky pages a turn,
origami into alien shapes.

It's the unfolding
of a love judged outta date.
It's an unfolding
of a life and its final embrace.

Had I known myself.

Had I known myself,
I wouldn't run away to stay close,
others' words wouldn't sway my faith.
If I had known myself.
I wouldn't lie to get ahead
only to find it's my own prison cell.
If I had known myself.
I'd walk with the person I was,
listen to all the hurts,
laugh at the childish games,
pat that person on the back & say,
"I see what you did back there.
I wish I'd known you better.
But hey, we see each other now."

No honor.

Last night I met a dream,
it told me I was greedy & a fake.
Froze me up then I shrugged,
don't know which voice I should trust.

Saw it clearly in the mud.
All the protections worth a laugh.
Never alone but a space above.
How long ago was the trip to mars?

It seems I knew the way to hell.
It's a bet's away from heaven's door.
Used to be clever, nothing to show for.
All the drama sins the record.

Time wasted & broken-hearted.
It's me that I have tricked.
A spirit defined by blood & bones.
Desperation is a dish served warm.

Come down.

I'm trying to activate myself from a slumber
where my mouth is shut and eyes wander.
Flutter about like a leaf with no bother.
I greet you with joy & an emptiness inside.

Give me time, give me space, give me quiet.
There's no goal where I'm alone with wounded pride.
I can see now where it's gone wrong & what I can do right.
If it's up to me, I'd still go the extra mile.

No better.

I know you no better than before.
With your new clown suit
usher in the age of benevolence.
I know you no better than before.

Bed of nails we made comfortable.
Field of roses left scorched.
Smiles with flawless teeth & dagger.
How did we go so far to be close?

I know you once not long ago.
No questions asked we just knew.
Worlds we create are our tombs
with no name on the grave stones.

I know you much better before.
No whys, no wheres & no who-s.
Somehow in the dream we shared
cherish the yearning we never knew.