Don’t Run Away.

It's hard, no? When you had enough &
ready to call it quits.
Where you're down on your knees to
pray, throwing pride away.
Don't you know it's good for you, get
lost in a brand new space.
Don't run away, now, ageless voices
are cheering you on.
Make yourself the guide & them your
witness, through winter comes spring.
When you're at your lowest, know that you
are never alone, feel the warmth.
It's your chance at living, like those that
came before, make them proud.
Don't run away, now, it's your gravest
self saying, "Don't run away."

To seniors of a retirement home.

Your eyes, they shine so bright.
There’s no longer confusion,
only the yearning for life.

The rest of your body’s
ceased to thrive,
prepping the soul for the flight.

No longer have a fear of death,
only the dream to see
the loved ones one more time.

Closer to the ground now
with an open blue sky.
Everything you imagined
now it’s the time.

Miseries.

All my folks know is miseries
from the cradle to the grave.
All they know is miseries,
that’s where they seem to live.

They hand me down their miseries,
they let it roll and it rolls.
From wide-eyed to pinched heart
no way to count its toll.

All I know is miseries,
and the supposed black hearts and deeds.
All I expect is miseries,
it’s the one thing I can see.

I don’t want no miseries,
one thing ends another can begin.
The fear and longing for miseries
are the reason we are not free.

I don’t see no miseries
maybe you’ve made me blind.
I don’t accept no miseries
not from you or any one.

I don’t create my own miseries,
just having fun giving it a run.
Don’t talk to me about miseries.
It is just one of them.

To Inspiration.

Hello, Inspiration:

This is your unfaithful servant.
It’s not my fault you’d chosen a coward
and won’t stop blasting her with visions.
I’m not responsible for your noises
nor the beauty that I’ve seen
for I’m not the one that’s destroying it
though I’ll admit it’s kinda pretty.

Without you where I’d be?
Pretty sure I’d be more at ease
enjoying the sun & the days without the heartache
that I’d be missing out of anything.
Sometimes I wish I don’t see
the future that can be
or the present that bothers me
and just be OK to be aloof
and write coward songs
and coward poems
thinking out loud but apologize
with every opportunity.
But what is this?
Are you the voice that’s killing me?
Toiling over & over all alone?
To what end so far from home?

This is a coward song
telling you I’m late again.
Can’t help with the hesitations
nor the shaky voice & the shaky hands.
It’s never getting easier
I know that now.
For every drop of water, a world.
And every human being,
her own heaven & hell.

Heart-gate.

I put my heart on hold
long ago.
I don’t remember the signs,
it’s a foreign land.
People don’t understand
when they see me emotionless,
how hard it is to pretend
to be one of them.

When I don’t know
where I am,
I hum a little song
to myself,
never deal with anything
too personal,
now that I can get away
from my folks.

The clock I’d stopped
does grind
so loudly
in my mind.
Need to let the cold
seeping in,
for the chance
to make some friends.

Still so afraid
of losing the ones I love,
or that I can’t
help them enough.
Can I take it now?
My disappointment
with myself?

I put my heart on hold.
My place is vacant
and my eyes are cold.
I feel safely mechanical.
But I can’t run free,
without my heart whole.

Was it something I had done?
Or part of me I have to accept?
Who do I go for advice?
When nobody knows who I am?

I have to unpause.
Have to face the spot.
Name the things I can’t change
and bring them back home.