I bow to myself in front of me
and surprised by the mortal bile-
a hatred as such I've never felt.
No wonder I'm never happy.
My consciousness repelled by my existence
blocks people & wonders of living.
Fought hard to get to where I am.
Still time to get to the other side?
Author: hotsurf
Like to travel, read, play cello etc.
My reality.
Spiral.
Lover in the Sky.
Beforedawn.
Afterdark.
“I don’t”: Post-It.
My voice.
I should sing with my own voice, not so loud & not so quiet. There's no question in my song. I'm just singing what I want. May the sunshine make it bright. May the night give it might. Sing the song, the spirit take flight, maybe someday you hear my voice.
Brain warmer.
I need to be with myself because I am slow. I don't know when the synapses say go. Give me a moment to make sure they're talking to me and it's not a case of mistaken identity. I need to be alone. I need no excuse. The brain says I'm under-archiving, I say it's overanalyzing. It'd be funny if it's not indefinitely depressing. I'm a lazy brain warmer telling the brain to chill.
Game.
There're certain games I'm afraid to play. I always win & I think I know why. It's a cosmic burden, the unexpected kind. It's the game I call U ❤ I.
Not crazy, but insane.
I feel a certain restraint falling away, might as well have my own instead of someone else's pain. Dare to find a stage to dump this shit. It's me, it's not me, all options are insane.
hotsurf_ 