I was raised by parents
that were disturbed,
emotionally abusive
though they truly love me.
It doesn’t make it easier
or less confusing.
Was it OK to push them away?
It hurts knowing I couldn’t help.
It hurts watching them
hurt themselves.
Getting crushed by this
tense atmosphere of
“Wrong! Wrong!! Wrong!!!”,
learned to maintain
my sanity at all cost.
Shut the door,
shut the window,
don’t let it show.
It’s no use, I can’t
break them outta their own hell.
Was it selfish to keep my distance
while I was so weak & lost?
I can’t stay still
my heart hurts.
Where is my heart?
I can’t find it.
I’ve hidden it too well.