At first, Qi thinks he might burst out laughing, for surely this is a joke. For more than a mad second, He 100% expects Rev to get up, alive and kicking, bending over with that loud laughter of his, grinning at him with shiny eyes for believing for even a second that he is, indeed, dead. Rev is still, Qi tries to be still too, for him, for them both. So he does not laugh, just as Rev is not able to anymore. Qi is calm, part of him thinks that he knows that this absurd calamity is coming (he blames himself, he blames them all, he blames himself). Another part of him blames that first part of him for even attempting to cope with the fact that his young love is laying on a cold table, cold and dead, and trying to find a rationale behind all of these (he blames himself). He can feel himself desperately trying to come up with a coping method, it does not help. He then automatically starting to look for a coping strategy, it does not hold. He grasps in vain for a coping stratagem, it submerges into the abyss under its own weight. The truth is, Rev died while holding Qi’s heart. It has stopped beating along with his. He is in ruins. He needs to escape. Again. Only this time, he knows that he is lost.
No more talks at all hours.
No more laughing about higher lives.
No more “man, you suck.”
No more “dude, you rock.”
No more toppling society and regimes,
No more aliens bringing about peace.
No more “what you doing tomorrow, next week.”
No more “the rest of our lives, what do you think.”
No more “ahh, do it again.”
No more “what were you thinking, fuck him.”
No more “I miss you, do you miss me.”
No more “wish you are here, I’m high as a kite.”
No more “I love you.”
No more “You are mine.”