In my head.

He’s watching you like a film,
he told me so.
I asked if he’s angry with you,
his reaction was violent
I took it as a no.

I asked if he loves you.
A single water-drop was all I got.
He handed me a short strip of film,
can’t focus on the background
but there’s some kinda animal.

He lingered around a bit after that.
Time to leave me alone.

A wild dog & a lost kitten.

A wild dog sniffs out a kitten
whose mom has just died.
After snacking on its dead siblings,
it eyes the last of this family line.

Little thing has long lost
even the will to look up,
as the wild dog laps at it
for the taste of its mother’s milk.

The dog could have ended it
with a swift closing of its jaw.
But at the last moment
something tells it to stop.

Instead it lets the kitten
tag along and teaches it to hunt.
Sharing its meals even when
the catching is rare and small.

Day by day the kitten grows
falls into step with the wild dog.
Quite the pair in their time,
sneaky & intimidating like no other.

Miles over miles send out shivers
with their howls and roars.
Years after years sticking together,
never losing the scent of its partner.

Time comes to pass & the wild dog
pasts its prime.
No longer can he keep up
with its feline friend.

Though the kitten now has
become the lion.
It always shares
the best parts of its catch.

One day the lion finds the wild one
breathing its last breath.
It laps at its nose and mouth
until the struggle ends.

The wild lion would one day
return to this spot to die.
Remembering the wild dog
who once gave a lost kitten a life.

Period Talk – July Edition.

part-the-red-sea.png There was a hackathon weekend during my period the past month that I skipped. I was tired and could not get up at 7:30am to catch the 8:00am starting of the event. The other reason would be because it’s an all women event. What can I possibly miss right? For a technical hackathon with all ladies, surely it’s not as exciting as if there were more men than women… I’m a sexist against my own gender. I’ve observed in the society what and more importantly who holds the power. I’ve been let down by other women who try to impose their value on me, just another mere female that is lost and weird and needs guidance. They are so kind-hearted, I hate it. They are so supportive, I hate it. They are so selfless and cheerful, I hate, hate it.

I played action figures instead of dolls (they creep me out). I played adventures instead of dressed-up tea-parties. I’d rather be dead than looking proper and prim and ready to serve just because. In my mind, what society wants with a woman has nothing at all to do with me. But I also seethe, oh, how I seethe. When I see dedication page on the books: “For Joanne”, “For my wife without whom …”, “For mom whose love…”. When I have a dedication to write for my book I will say “For my father who loves me enough to show me how the world really works. For my hubby who doesn’t care what I do as long as I will agree to having his kid one day.” Let the flow be real.

Work weekends.

I don’t think anyone’s chasing you my friend,
why don’t you take a rest.

There’s no money to be earned nor
value to be added.

Chances are you’re doing something important,
lift your eyes & clear your head.

Nothing at all trivial or wasteful about
spending time to reflect.

I know there’re chores to fill & websites to build,
but do you still remember to what end?

You can’t serve others by losing yourself
it’s a laboring circle just know it’s all in your hand.

I want you.

I want you I want your
body writhing against mine.
I want you I want your
face wet against my neck.

I want you I want your
cock & balls inside.
I want you I want you
on your knees & beg.

I want you I want your
eyes tracing mine.
I want you I want you
make that sound divine.

I want you I want your
cup fills the way you like.
I want you I want you
forget about the cracks.

I want you I want you
across space & time.
I want you I want you
just a bit more than that.