Dark.

Birds soar to escape the trees.
Fish jump to silver moonlight.
I wish I've never been born,
so it's just peace & quiet.
The moment is heavy need a drink.
Laughing stupidly at everything nothing.
Moment of bliss so the pain can pass.
If I haven't been born will I be limitless?
Always another (mis)step to curse at.
Someone is at the hem: destructive mirth.
The whinny voice at the back of the head.
If I hadn't been born could it be nice?
It's not a punishment but a grab-all-you-can mall.
Limited access susceptible to flood & hail.
Excuse me while I fill your spot when you fly.
May your feet never touch the ground again.

Inmate No. 5.

Life is a prison sentence.
The bailiff is up my ass.
Love at your risk &
at your own time.
Raw emotions flow
blood red.
High security, sirens,
cell checks & chiv.
Don't need much
just 5 walls &
one way out.
Metalic, dull clicks,
muffled whispers,
where you see
the saints up below.
Hard lessons learned
from hard hands.
So we believe
where we headed
is worse than this.

Heartbeat.

I'm wary of things that should.
I pause to think what it'd mean first.
Life has lots trap doors.
For you, for me when we're day dreaming.
Play catch up to the assignments that
get us to the next spot.
It's a flash of light, a spark then it's done.
The puzzle, the riddle, the look that disappoints.
Find the true north, the rest is noise.

Bait.

I'm afraid to say what I want to say.
The words are shallow & the opening lame.
It's the sunset, the birds or the waves.
Where to begin & where will it end?
It's frightening to define things when
they still dance in your head.
Taunting you, asking you to join in.
In what madness do we think it's worth the time
to freeze life and just live inside?
What am I afraid to find?
The answers to the questions that've been on my mind.

No obligations.

In a world that's so cold, you gotta protect your own soul.
Like a bonfire where the wind blows, keeps you warm, needs your fuel.
When you're young you think you have time,
give others your flame cause it ain't worth a damn.
Far away there's the warning that comes too late,
you're lost in the wilderness & the light is dim.
Maps & stars give no warmth & kindness is on loan.
Hope when you are tired of running from fear & shame
the one with your fire is one and the same.

No rest.

Can I sleep now? Have I passed the test?
Dynamic hammering in my head,
I can get no rest.
Drinking coffee, making myself crazy.
The sun's too bright, the colors swimming.
Always something wakes me up early.
Please I get the message, I've been journaling.
Just give me a break, the shower's miles away.
I want some reprieve - This is going great!

Empathy.

There's a devil in me, stay awhile you will see.
It speaks of jealousy & depravity,
wouldn't you like to know it?
I keep it caged & entertained.
It tells me what it thinks.
The thrill of interchangeable pleasure & pain,
never know whether it's me or him.
Do I know anything beyond this charade,
or am I locked in my own dilemma?
It makes me sick & bids me to live,
I'm the devil that says, "Empathy, my pet!"

Sets in fall.

With a blush in the sky
the sun's going to bed.
I'm in love with something
three dimensional & above.
But it doesn't love me back.
I observe, I stalk, I do my best.
Whenever i get close I refuse
because I'm afraid I might offend.
So many "I" in this, so much fear, so many indecisions, not enough substances.
I gather, I pry, I travel, I stretch.
Yet, it's all the same.
We play this game, the mind opens, the heart fades, all contained. All remained.
You still look the same.