I was raised to respect
certain animals & insects:
spiders, anoles, lady bugs
with 7 dots that eat flies.

I always check before I kill
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, you can go.
Because we have a common foe
or maybe you’re just kinda cute.

I was taught to take notes,
to discern the friends from the foes.
But I don’t always keep the door closed
and I don’t know which one to keep close.

The biggest pest in the household
don’t know up from down, right from wrong.
I might as well be a corpse
to attract the flies for y’all to eat.

You told me not to change
and I said yes.
Sorry I lied,
I lost the thing I once had.

It’s like a heart-attack,
sirens, flashes, warning signs.
I guess my brain can’t decide,
to win or just to survive.

So it’s the middle road,
can’t see the sun,
can’t rest at night.
Sorry for the people I disappointed.

Sorry for the ones I still blame,
especially myself & I.
Want to be alive,
just to keep myself alive.

It’s a battle with no win or lose,
it’s the outside that’s inside.
I keep hearing people say “rise, rise”!
Have they learned their lessons? Not I.

I guess I was sorta insane.
The spark you saw
was all part of a dream.
I was there but somewhere also.

Do you know what I mean?

I’m sorry I’ve changed.
I’m sorry I’m the same.
You said it long ago,
but did you really know

what any of this means?