If I'd know what I know now,
I wouldn't have stopped myself.
I'd stab the heart & carve it out.
If I'd know what I know now.
Timidly I knock on the door,
peek through the window of the carnival
where the give & take is pure & simple,
and finding the taste sour & bitter.
You know what I just found out?
Life's over the moment you hold out.
Whether you die tomorrow or a century tops.
In the end it's, if you can forgive yourself.
Category: random feels
Drain.
This anger in me, I can't take a breath.
Like steam in the engine, it propels me ahead.
Don't know where I am, unless you're behind.
Give me a look, back to square one.
Counting the money, salvations spent.
Same old habit, who, where & when.
Love is a foreign country, one trip a time.
The spirit drains, in laughters and wine.
Meditation.
I bow to myself in front of me
and surprised by the mortal bile-
a hatred as such I've never felt.
No wonder I'm never happy.
My consciousness repelled by my existence
blocks people & wonders of living.
Fought hard to get to where I am.
Still time to get to the other side?
My reality.
Spiral.
Beforedawn.
Afterdark.
“I don’t”: Post-It.
My voice.
I should sing with my own voice, not so loud & not so quiet. There's no question in my song. I'm just singing what I want. May the sunshine make it bright. May the night give it might. Sing the song, the spirit take flight, maybe someday you hear my voice.
Brain warmer.
I need to be with myself because I am slow. I don't know when the synapses say go. Give me a moment to make sure they're talking to me and it's not a case of mistaken identity. I need to be alone. I need no excuse. The brain says I'm under-archiving, I say it's overanalyzing. It'd be funny if it's not indefinitely depressing. I'm a lazy brain warmer telling the brain to chill.
Game.
There're certain games I'm afraid to play. I always win & I think I know why. It's a cosmic burden, the unexpected kind. It's the game I call U ❤ I.
hotsurf_ 