More or less.

Wanna be what I wanna be.
It ain’t right, it ain’t hiring,
it ain’t hyped, it ain’t typed.
I can be more but I ain’t.
I wish I can be more or less different.

I’m a powerhouse, confused energy.
Someone please bottle me so I can break free.
Rather be a fly, not a rat,
though wild things have my respect.

Say the word make that last.
You can have what you looking at.
Say I don’t give a shit while pleading to the man,
“Come save me, please don’t leave me behind.”

It’s interesting you have a brain,
yet you can’t decide,
to go forward or go back,
something safe or outta the mind.

No talk, no show, no business card,
rather be a punk than a rock star.
Life’s too short for money and cars.
Give me a sec, teach me what is love?

I grow over you.

I thought you were the only one who could read me,
we were two of a kind.
Even after you slapped me twice and sent away my cat.

You said you were treated liked a girl growing up,
that’s why you treat women the way you do,
belittle them to make yourself feel more like a man.

I was told I was a mistake, should’ve been a boy.
You know what, no biggie, kinda used to disappointment.
I suspect you wouldn’t know how to raise a boy anyway.

My mother’s neurotic and she’s not even on the wine.
Got gallbladder stones from all the rage, never been treated kind.
Hollering for justice with all the righteousness of the blind.

I learned to appear calm when the two are howling at each other.
Every time though I feel the tinge of pain some place left to my heart.
I can move out, but somehow, people make me anxious like they gonna explode.

I didn’t want to grow up like this, but I did grow up like this and now
I’m finally in a space of my own. I can do crazy things, meet crazy people
and act I’ve been happy all along. I still doubt. I’m afraid. I’m in control.

I wanna fuck my husband.

I wanna fuck my husband.
I like them a little feminine.
When I have penned up aggression,
here’s someone warm & complying.

He can be the one that gives away,
looking at his face for pleasure or pain,
causing something inside to vibrate,
nothing to be ashamed of cause we married.

It may sounds a little gay,
it’s OK we are both straight (what they say).
He tells me he doesn’t want to go all the way.
I see to it we both get a little taste.

Hey hey hey.

Aftermath.

Here you are, my limitation
reminding me I’m outta the line.
Don’t know why I’m trying so hard
keep pushing my weakest point.

It’s not me, it’s me, again & again.
People laughs, saying there’s nothing there,
it cuts through the cheese, through the board,
through the heart that’s futile to protect.

I can see it in your eyes,
I’m a disappointment, I’m wasting your time.
Still I push on, you’re amused,
I hold on to myself, I’m here for this.

Where am I? Just wanting it to be over?
Where am I? Still trying to be someone else?
I’m here! I am here! It’s all that matters.
You should know it, you could feel it.

Who cares about the aftermath.

Unsteady.

I’m unsteady.
After autumn comes spring.
I’m unsteady.
Mocked for being a graceless wretch.
I’m unsteady.
Not your friendly, agreeable type.
I might bump into you
without an apology
cause I really don’t notice it.

I’m unsteady.
Resigning to fate.
I’m tumbling.
You laugh at me.
I play footloose with gravity.
My hands quick & the branch’s sturdy.
Unconsciously I save myself.
You’re amazed at my agility.
I think it’s a pity
I’m not head over heel.

I’m unsteady.
No script, all actors.
Too cool to be real.
Just a healthy dose of no fucks given.
I may hail you as a villain,
so we are even, so we can be
unsteady, interestingly,
defiantly, definably.
To pave the ground
for those to walk on
who can be unsteady.